Death

Sometimes, I think about death. Of mine and of others. How would I die? Would it be painful? I hope not. How is it like to witness the death of a loved one? Is it better to die than be sick and suffer at old age? And, what happens after you die? Why are all people and animals scared of death?

I was raised as a Buddhist, so I was taught that the dead would be born again as another life unless they have achieved nirvana. The re-birth happens based on what karma we’ve done in this life and what thoughts we’d have in our last breath. Fascinating; a little scary too.

I’ve also heard of re-incarnation stories – of people speaking of their past lives and they being matched with true incidents; and then I’ve heard of ghost stories, of people who’ve died years ago and still haunt the living. Somehow; they don’t go together really well though... because, if someone dies and become a ghost, and that same someone also get re-born in another life; then the ghost seems pretty stuck being a ghost till the eternity...

I’ve heard some Buddhist monks explain ghosts as another life; not human, not animal but some super human life, that like any other, would end someday. I think I like the lives that end than something eternal. Personal choice though ;)

Anyways; what really happens? Religion aside; I really don’t know - I don’t remember of a previous life. I guess that not knowing what happens after death is what scares us all. And; may be; evolution has built it in to our genes, to fear death, so that all animals would strive to live; instead of just give in whenever death is on one’s way.

I’ve had an out of body experience in my childhood. I was sick and was in my mom’s arms. I was in pain and I wanted to move; and then, I passed out. Everything that happened thereafter until I woke up again are still in my memory in vivid detail. And; I was observing all that from outside of the body. And my parents say; I explain the events exactly the way they happened.

Looking back, I don’t think I died or was going to. I was in so much pain; my brain must have disconnected the consciousness. Because; all the while I was unconscious, I didn’t feel any pain at all. How did I see from outside of my body? I don’t know, but maybe my senses apart from eyesight were working quite sharply and my brain must have created the visual impressions through them.

I’ve read in some science journals that say; that’s exactly what people in near death experiences have experienced. The process of the body dying is a very painful process and that makes the brain - while it still lives - to disconnect the consciousness. Depending on the functionality of other senses and the amount of brain death happening; they might either see what’s going on around them or bright lights / their past / loved ones etc.

All this; doesn’t explain the phenomena of ghost stories and re-incarnation stories. But; just because science doesn’t explain that doesn’t mean religious explanations are correct. Most religions taught that the world is flat until they were proven otherwise. Buddhism, even with my biased opinion towards it, has had its share of myths associated with it.

So; when it comes to death I think I’ll take my chances with it and discover the unknowns myself; and that’s if my consciousness survives - which I think is highly unlikely. I think that would be the end of me and my consciousness would cease to exist. I hope to have a smile on my face when I die; so I hope I would realize the moment has come and have control over my facial muscles for that one last smile...

Animal sacrifices, protests, religion and morality...

I've been reading news on the animal sacrifices in Halawatha. I just think that is an inhuman, barbaric and savage act by a bunch of retarded psychopaths. Those poor animals had a right to their lives just as much as any of us. But; it happened. The bastards killed those helpless creatures in hundreds. Neither law makers nor law enforcers intercepted. In fact; I think the police were supportive of that bloodshed.

Some activists - mostly under the Buddhist flag - protested for no avail. I think it went wrong because of the religious label. No law maker could support it because that could label them as religious extremists who discriminate against other religions. Sri Lanka as a country does not want that right now.

What we should realize is that those savage animal sacrifices should stop - not because of we are a Buddhist country - but because we are a nation with high moral values (that is independent of our individual religious beliefs). Not because it’s taught in our religions that it’s wrong to kill animals; but because we realize and respect the right of the animals to live as much as we humans.

What we need, what the innocent and helpless animals in this country need is not a religious group racing their voice for them; but an animal loving, free thinking and independent animal rights group working to safeguard the rights of the animals without any other agenda or a label. Like PETA.

Religion, no matter how much humble and sincere, just bring too much of a burden to any controversial issue. Religion should leave morality alone - we should have high moral values independent of our beliefs. Had it been so; and had we had an organized and independent group who stand for animal rights (for which I doubt we do) we could have saved those poor animals.

What gear you use - and what gear you want?

I have some money put aside for camera gear; and, in the recent times, I've been trying to decide want I need.

What I want is a D700 and a 105mm macro preferably with 24-70mm F/2.8 and a couple of SB-900s. But to think of, I'm doing fine with the gear I already have and I do not need any of those, unless I do real professional photography - which I don't.

I shot the above picture using the 18-200 VR on my D80; and I think it's a pretty decent macro regardless. So is the one below:







And for portraits; the 50mm f/1.8 has been producing decent enough shots.

And even the 18-200mm is not that bad:









Landscapes? 18-200mm again is enough.










I have a SB-600, which is enough to be creative with light and to light up things...










Of cause 70-300mm VR is hardly a tele, but again; for my occasional wildlife photography and outdoor portraits, it's enough.













So; what would I buy? I think nothing. May be another SB-600 if it really gets itching. But most probably nothing.

If I didn't had any of these; I would have probably bought a D700 or a D3s with 24-70mm f/2.8 and probably a 105mm macro.. I doubt if I would buy a tele and if I would, it would still be the small and light weight 70-300 VR which I already have. Not a super expensive super fast and super heavy pro lens. I'd also throw in a couple of SB-900s in to that list with a decent manfrotto tripod and a ball head.

If I was on a budget; which I probably would be, I'd settle for a D90 and a 18-200 VR together with a SB-600 and a cheap $30 tripod from Walmart. That is more than enough for some serious hobbyist photography.

On Politics...

Reactions to recently concluded drama by Wimal Weerawansa titled “Fast unto death” had been a good gage of the political maturity of my colleagues.

Some actually thought he would actually fast till he die! And he's doing it for real patriotic reasons etc. They couldn't really tell if Mahinda was with him or not till the last moment. They were touched by the resignation letter and some would have actually sacrificed their own lives for the cause of Wimal... These people sympathized with him and actually thought Ban Ki Moon would actually give a shit about it... Their history has close ties either with the JVP or UPFA; they voted Mahinda just because he's their candidate... They fought each other when JVP and UPFA parted, became allies when they formed governments together etc. etc.; And the JVP fraction followed Wimal when he left the JVP.

The second category actually thought Wimal ate munchie lemon-puff biscuits out of a big brown cardboard box which was marked “Manchie lemon-puff”! Lemon-puff? Really? Why not cake from Hilton? They have labeled cardboard boxes too.. And they genuinely thought that scanned piece of paper with an stupid agenda in hand writing is a real leak! This is the category of people who voted Sarath Fonseka just because Ranil or Somawansa asked them to. Wimal was once a hero for the JVPers but as soon as he left JVP he became their traitor of the decade. UNP never liked Wimal; he was a pain for them. But their ingenious brains simply could not put together the pieces of the puzzle to understand the amount of planning that went in to Wimal's drama. They didn't really understand whether it's staged or not; they just wanted to shout that's false...

The third; actually understood what's going on. They laughed; They predicted and they laughed again. First laugh was at Wimal's act; they predicted what's going to happen with it even to the detail of Mahinda offering him water... and the final laugh was at those from the above two categories. These are the people who made their own decisions in the presidential elections. They could have voted either Mahinda or Sarath; but not because of party affiliations but because they made informed decisions and actually cared about the outcome.

Photo per day progress

I just posted at http://365.photoweaver.net for the 46th consecutive day! I'd like to think that my photography has improved; but I know for a fact that now I'm more satisfied.

I no longer feel limited by the gear I have; I'm quite confident that 80% of the time I could make the photo I want with my existing gear. For the remaining 20% of the time; it's simply not worth it to invest thousands of dollars to capture those moments on digital storage.

I also feel that my 70-300 VR is quite obsolete in my camera bag. Its use probably fall in to that 20% of the times above so my success level with the current gear should be something like 80.5% and the limitations should be 19.5% or something. I only use it to take pictures of birds and; to make any decent picture with its light hunger, I need to shoot at ISO levels above 1000; which simply isn't fair by my old D80. I'm not going to buy a better body only to satisfy a single lens.

All that said; I've also come-up with a list of two things (he he) in a precise order by which I would benefit from having them.

1.) One more SB-600 Speed Light
2.) Nikon 105mm Micro (I would also settle for the 60mm Micro)

Now; I do have some cash which I've preserved for something of that sort; but the problem is, I don't have a friend coming down from the US to bring that for me..

Anyways; I would still kill to get myself a D3s or even a D700.. But I wouldn't spend my hard earned money on them yet. I simply don't need them.